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so, i did a little observation and going out. i try blending in with other people in my neighborhood, i also observe people and look back at them in the eyes sometimes. i made a small talk to the cashier in the convenience store. i also practice acting to make me look a little more organic while being witho other individuals. when someones talking to me, i usually dont pay much attention cause i think its just wasting time but eh, now i froce myself to listen and pay attention so i can relate to them even though i dont really want to.
anyways i did all these things because im bored obviously, and i want to atleast blend in with the society. nxbksdhf sounds so edgy but, its just, i spend the first 5 years of my teenage year being a neet, not going outside, never interact with other people. i dont feel bad doing those things but, i just wanna try being normal and actually feel like a human being. and beside that, i dont have much friends. i dont mind that, i dont want to really have much friends anyways but sometimes i need a counterpart to share its opinion with me.
i enjoy my loneliness, i dont feel like i need many friends, i dont want to seek a friend group. i just want to connect with some people because, in the future i can probably use them for my own good and goals thats one, and two i want to sharpen my observation, deduction, and communication skills. so slick hah.
anyways thats all my report for now. ill be back with more later.
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WHERE HAVE I BEEN YOU MAY ASK? IVE BEEN FEELING UNWELL AND SICK FOR SOME TIME. MY SNOTS R EVERYWHERE AND MY EYES R WATERY IT LOOKS LIKE I CHUGGED A BOTTLE OF VODKA ON MY RIGHT EYE (ITS A REAL THING) but anyways yeah ive been sick. maybe its the c0v1d vaxx side effect or something ahah.
anyways i will post nostalgic things pt. 4 soon. ive gathered alot of stuff from the internet mostly we will be looking at home videos and still musics. i promise i will deliver it to u all asap.
anyways so, im watching this sigma male video so i can elevate myself (already a sigma male) into becoming 2x sigma male also known as ligma male. yes, i will become an ongodly being, i make my own rules. i do not care about what other thinks. i keep experts coming back at me. i dont conform into society. I AM MY OWN SOCIETY. I AM THE LIGMA OF ALL LIGMA MALES.
yea my head is quite up in the air rn.
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UHM WHAT? HOLD ONNN THIS IS TOO FAST FOR ME.
i still wanna stay at home. atleast until the mid-semester stuff ends cause sir, I AM NOT READY yet. atleast i still have about 2 weeks to prepare for the exam. i still have some unfinished assignments and stuff. i will try finishing it.
and wait, i think i forgot something- uhhh
math.
im weak at 9th grader math.
oh this is going to be nuts.
listen, if i get below 80, i will not pass 9th grade. im not even kidding. i have to atleast get 90 to still be alive ahahahah. thank god im good at STEM fields (with the exception of math) i think i have mastered civic and law i just need to re-read stuff and take more notes, same goes with theology and scriptures (i think i need to memorize some verses) social studies hmmm not sure i need to read it all from the beginning. and for languages, im ok with english and indonesian arabic and lampungese not sure. lastly art department, i have one due assignment. ill do it now teheh.
so in the end in all 15 subject im still in the safe area. i just need to skim read and review.
ill ask my private teacher about the mathematics subject.
finish your assignments kids. it will be hard for you in the future if you dont do it now. i have like 2-3 unfinished assignment. and its hard for me to even manage it ahdhadv. OH I ALMOST FORGOT THAT I HAVENT DONE MY MATH DAILY TEST AHDGHSD. i still have one week though so worry not. i will be doing the first half of it this afternoon. very p0gg3rz yes?
*manifesting good grades rn*
to all fellow t33nagers who is in the same situation rn, goodluck stay safe finish ur assignments babes <3
btw, just got an email from my teacher rn to do the math exam. GROSS, ICH JETZT KEIN HABE NICHT DIE ABSICHT MACHEN DIE KLAUSUR ARGH!!!! r3st 1n p3ac3 german 2 all the german speaking people who reads that dumpster fire.
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corny 13 years old love song lesgooo. (2010)
ndcnkjcj this guy caused a big discourse back in the day, like a fan war and stuff. |
BEYBEAH BEAYBEEH OHH RIGHT BEAYYBY BYBY OOHH RIGHT. this song, THIS FREAKING SONG, was sooo annoying for me back then hahah. its more annoying than biebers old mop looking hair (just a joke, biebernation dont kill me) but it was the first song i heard from justin bieber. 'baby' was a worldwide hit back in the day. sadly all i remember from the song was the iconic ooooh part and the verse (?) yeah its so repetitive and i dont like it at all but who am i to judge to be honest.
the song baby, was released in 18th january, 2010 it was soon became a worldwide hit all over the world. i still remember to this day how sooo many uhm media platform played it. not only the television and media but places like malls, school, whatever the place is where you can play songs, they will play it ofc.
the song baby, apparently became the fourth most disliked video on youtube ahahah. sad but yeah theres still so many salty people out there hating on justin i guess (i was joking b4 im not anti bieber im just neutral. i like some of his song, some does not tickle my preference and stuff blabla you get the point) this is very funny to me because i thought everyone forgot about this song ahahha.
people, especially boys dont really like this song. mostly its because uh maybe i think its because the fangirls and how the song itself is so repetitive and its not appealing to them. i mean, its like a love letter to the fangirls from bieber. idk self insert moment.
i used to think this song is glorifying teenage deliquency. |
17th of february 2014 just a few days after valentines day, this song called fancy was released. now, to those of you who doesnt know this or never heard of it, you guys might think its a song about fancying someone or something. but, you know just looking at the single cover with the 'clueless' inspired theme you guys probably know that this song screams badass female main character vibes just like cher holowitz and stuff.
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been struggling to put on words.
for the past 12 hours, ive been working on this post about politic, but i just i have been struggling to put on words in the article. and the fact that i am feeling like im gonna fall asleep any minutes does not help. so basically im sleep deprived and not in the right state of mind.
when making a post about politics, it is important to be sober and in the right state of mind.
this is what politics articles are lacking at these days. most of the articles that people write is very biased and its harmful man. most of the times people do not know the actual truth because the media is very biased.
this creates a discourse between the truth and reality.
people who are not on any side can easily be indoctrinated into joining one side. to the point its becoming part of their lives.
wth am i writing bruh.
i need sl33p frl.
ENTRY_7 (important)
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IM SON SCAREDDDDD
MY MOSM IS GONNA READ MY BLOFH MNVSD,NBVSWDBSJHB
RIP RIP RIP
MAYYASDAY
st4n mr. w0rldw1d3 <33 |
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people say i have no taste. but i like you. i really do.
that sounds d3rog4tory yeah. i dont mean to call you that but honestly as flawed as you could be, i like you, i lov3 y0u <3 youre perfect for me. youre like an advil on the counter. you heal all kind of pain, you took care of me like a hen caring for her baby chick, protecting it from the fox whos ready to munch the babies.
youre like roman godfrey in my eyes. youre also like i dont know the starboy that weeknd mentioned in his song. youre my bfg, my self defense, my first aid kit. i just wish that you actually exists and here with me. i n33d y0u like THIS much to the point i write this p4ssage for you.
take a wild guess of who im talking about.
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PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN IN 2009 IS NOW 12!??!?!!!
ok, people who are born in the 2000s are now probably 12-21 years old now. i grew up too fast.
anyways, dabbing was very weird.
who agrees??? like it was the most random pose ever tahahhahah. funny thing is, in my country there were rumors that dabbing originated from a sun god cult stuff and those who are dabbing is following the sun god ritual which leads to infidelity to their respectful god. yeah the dumb theory was so popular that my then school banned the gesture welp i guess thats the end of the dabbing reign in my school.
wHO EVEN Dabs anyways. its really embarassing to think about now. but i guess thats what we get for normalizing weird stuff from the internet.
but selfie stick was weirder.
this one, i must give credits to millenials. they were the one who was hyping the living crap out of it. argh well thanks millenials. selfie sticks are so powerful that some places banned it. selfie culture was a craze. its like the widespread of c0mmun1sm. i remember wanting to buy it because i wanna take more pics to put into my instagram account that i just opened in like 2015 ish yeah.
selfie culture was also the reason some people died.
dont believe me?
check this out:
as much as some people hate it, i kinda want them back because seeing people taking selfie, especially those who uses snapchat was like so funny for me for no reason. its like when i observed their faces i just can tell who is trying very hard to look good, some tries to make their peers looks like a kitchen rag, some wants their friend gone or something. millenials oh millenials.
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA STUFF KINDA.
many people has their own childhood trauma. i dont know how to write this section because we as a generation has many other traumas between all of us.
but, heres mine.
the first time i saw minecraft was around 2011-2012 on GINX channel. a channel about gaming. I STILL remember to this day how awestruck i was that day, but uh, its not because of the minecraft featurette, well i mean yes ofcourse it was because of it too but hey, the biggest reason as to why i still remember the snippet was because after it played (the minecraft snippet) they showed a snippet of resident evil 6. yeah. they they literally showed us a brutal murder of a soldier being forced to swallow a parasite while leon and the other soldier taking cover and watch it from afar.
i was 5-
i pissed my pants. literally. pissed it.
leon then explains to the soldier on how to remove the octo like parasite from the hosts body. I STILL FRESHLY REMEMBER ITTTTT. i mean it was my first encounter with high class graphic gore stuff. hsdgsjhgdjhgdjhs but yk, i still remember thinking abt how handsome leon look in RE6. sacbsdhj ironic because now im chris's girl ahaha.
my peak was probably in the nighttime, i REMEMBER i was dreaming about me being force fed with the same parasite. i get sick after that.
frozen cult.
you think you know real cult? no you dont. froz3n is the real cult. everywhere i go in 2013, i see frozen merch, logo, symbol, characters and i hate it man. who hates it? other than me that is. i am so irritated by it. its like a cult man. everyone uses it, everyone sang the song, everyone literally wants to be elsa jashajsh. frozen is a cult you cant convince me the otherwise.
i love it.
i love the cult, the hype, the popularity. ahhh... old days.
sich alt fühlen, noch Teenager?
btw, dump ur childhood trauma on the comment section or smth i feel lonely.
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cring3 culture died a long time ago....
scholastic book fair sucks.
i believe its a government propaganda (haha obviously joking on this part. dont get offended please uwu twittwer pweapow)
but in my country we have no such thing. though we do have a book fair. just not a scholastic book fair. nonetheless, we all still feel the same nostalgia we feel when we hear the word "book fair" whether its a scholastic one or like a random local questionable publisher book fair.
same nostalgia.
remember those kids who cant go to the book fair and end up staying inside the classroom until the end of the fair because they either do not have the sufficient amount of money or have not finished their assignment yet? yeah i was one of them just cause i really don't wanna buy the stupid books.
some of the rich kids or just simply kids who don't have any life would probably buy around 4-5 low quality book. some kids who bought a book would read it in class with their mates eagerly searching for "funnee words" (basically just f-bombs) to laugh at. i mean everyone was in that phase right? at least i was in that phase when i was like what? 9? 10? i don't know man.
we are all still the same virgin with asthma nonetheless...
beside that, we all have a very fond memory on pacer test. my school uses the one with australian accent one. it was hella funny. though i never had the chance to experience it to level 11. everyone in the school probably had already d13d at level 5 we are all teenagers with breathing issues even before the pandemic tehehehe.
as im writing this, im listening to the pacer test the australian accent edition. love it. "level 10-6, level 10-7..." the nostalgia man, hits hard. i miss going to school listening to the other class struggling to catch their breaths in between the test hahah suffer i dont care.
band kids, c0mm13 kids.
[insert USSR anthem, bass boosted, meme bruh 420 69 funny number song here]
mostly the boys who can speak english, watches pewds, /r/dankmemers, jjba fanboys, slavaboos are the ones whos into these stuff. i still remember very clearly who are them. i would love to spill their names here but for what?? not like youd know who they are anyways.
ah they are the edgelords, unironically ironic racist, and they have a very weird political ideology. my best friend from 6 grade was one of them. probably still one of them. i dont know. hope he recovers soon from his disgraceful downfall.
2000-2020
miss those years...
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I SWEAR. IM TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE. IT SUCKS. POLITICS R LIKE VERY ADDICTIVE. OH YOU THINK IM OBSESSED WITH CHRIS REDFIELD???? NO. I MEAN YEAH I AM BUT LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT POLITICS R MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ANYTHING. LITERALLY. IM 15 AND IT RUINED MY LIFE. MY MUM THINKS THAT I DAYDREAM ABOUT BOYS WHEN IN REALITY ALL I THINK IS "SJW GETTING DESTROYED COMPILATION" OR "CONSERVATIVES VS LOGIC" STUFF. IT DRAINS ENERGY AND MY WILLPOWER TO KEEP ON LIVING HAHA :( HDHFUDHFDU
THIS IS NOT A TROLL POST. JUST DONT GET INTO POLITICS FORREAL.
WELL LEARN SOME THINGS ABOUT POLITICS YES BUT DONT GO TOOOOO DEEP IN IT. ITS DEPRESSING, ITS UGLY, EVERYTHING IS DANGEROUS IN POLITIC WORLD. ALTHOUGH I KNOW WHERE I STAND IN POLITICAL WORLD AND STUFF AND TBH I DEFEND MY SIDE BUT HONESTLY, THERES NO "RIGHT" OR UH "WRONG" IN POLITICS. ITS ALL SUBJECTIVE.
LISTEN, KIDS YOURE STILL LIKE VERY YOUNG AND VERY INNOCENT. DONT GET YOUR TEENAGE YEAR ROBBED FROM YOU BECAUSE YOURE TOO INVESTED IN ADULT THINGS LIKE THAT. DO SOMETHING ELSE, SOCIALIZE, GO TO FRIENDS HOUSE, PLAY WITH THEM, LEARN SOMETHING NEW, DO YOUR HOBBIES, WHATEVER JUST LEAVE POLITICS BEHIND. THANK YOU FOR IF YOU DONT GET INTO POLITICS MWAH MUCH LOVE FOR THAT.
PARENTS, DONT INDOCTRINATE YOUR KIDS. THEY ARE HUMANS FOR PETES SAKE. MAN I HATE THOSE PEOPLE ON /R/WOKEKIDS PLEASE STOP THIS MONSTROSITY ITS FREAKING ANNOYING. THEY ARE NOT A WAR MACHINE FOR YOU TO USE IN A WAR BETWEEN LEFT OR RIGHT. GET SOME LIFE DUDE. YOURE NOT ELIGIBLE TO BE A PARENT IF YOU TREAT YOUR KIDS LIKE THAT. TYSM FOR LISTENING TO THAT ONE.
LAST ONE,
STAY SAFE FELLOW TEENAGERS. DONT BE PRESSURED INTO JOINING ANY POLITICAL SIDE. PEER PRESSURE SUCKS.
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so like can we all agree that teenagers scares us all. like they could snap anytime and decided to do a mass m00rd3r or g3n0cid3. yeah. lmao.
this is like a filler post so like idrk.
mum bought me a claw clipper. cool. i can manage my hair now just like i manage this electric diary. i love it, its white my favourite colour. dont interact if you hHATW HITE. just kidding im not that sensitive. im pretty chill if you hate white then ok thats you not me, i dont care at all. my ideology is "as long as it dont affect me, you can pretty much do anything man" yeah cool right?
should i make a label about butterflies? i love butterflies. they r cool.
soc13ty sucks. everyone is too sensitive these days. bring me back to the old days where emo kids are the biggest threat to the society. everywhere i go its all basically politics now. or maybe i just grew up too fast and now i understand stuff more in-depthly? i dont know man, i just wanna sit down and play doom or something. vent all my anger inside the game and stuff.
i still remember playing the old lemonade tycoon game, great times. it was fun and i didnt even know how economy works in that game. now, it feels like even hearing the word "economy" rages me so much. oh man everything sucks. i dont care 2015 was the last good year to ever existed. we have pokemon go, minecraft pocket edition, me being scared after watching alien isolation and resident evil walkthrough, ALIEN ISOLATION? OH YEAHHH HELL YA THAT GAME. I LOVE IT.
2016 however, the only good thing was fidget spinner, slime, musically, squishy toys and DOOM. gdgdggdggdvgcv great DOOM was cool. i love it so much.
2017 - 2021 does not exists in my head. i hate those years. it suckKKKKkSSSssSsSh
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i guess i'd be dead if someone from my school sees this.
so i did what add said, to make a new personal blog. which is a great idea. well great now i can vent or something. i could post anything that i want. not everything though just some of my thoughts.
GREAT.
what should i even post here? ofc not a whole essay about why i love chris redfield thats embarassing. maybe though its an option just like life. its an option whether you want to stay alive and be a good person or maybe a bad person or maybe a bland person OR you want to die and be forgotten. its all an option, we are like playing a vn game, except not all of us can be the mc. i mean atleast not me. i dont feel like an mc at all i feel like a side character wait- no- more like the background character or maybe a comedic relief.
yeah, a comedic relief.
pathetic much?
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