i miss my friend.

 i miss him. idk what happened to him. i just wish him the best of luck... get well soon. please come back, atleast tell me that youre alive. we dont need to talk everyday. just tell me how youre doing bud. maybe youre mad at me, or maybe youre bored of me, i don really care. i just wanna know how are you doing and what are you up to. i miss you buddy.

W4NTS.

 ENTRY_23

 

 

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do you know what a woman wants? woman wants clarity in their relationship. she wants to know who she is in her beloved's eye, is she only a checkpoint for him to stay and never come back as the game progresses? or is she the last mission for him to finish his game? is she the final destination for him or is she just another gas station? pump it hard, pay, leave. 

woman wants to know where her position is in your life. dont make us question our worth. were a soft, sensitive, delicate creature. we were nymph3ts who grow up being g0dd3sses and ang3ls you have to treat us like one. we want your attention loves, we want you to praise us and only us. we want you to only look at us that way, we only look at you and only you. 

do you know what we want? we want you to validate us. no matter how pretty we are, how dreamy our eyes are, how silky our skins are, we just cant help it but to demand your validation and acceptance. we may have hundreds thousands of boys falling for us like dominoes but once we settled our h3art on a certain someone we cant help but be infatuated by the lucky prince. we want the prince's validation we want him to look at us the way we look at him. 

maybe thats why we want our relationship to be crystal clear. i want to know just what in the garden of 3d3n are we? what are we darling? i know friends dont glance at each other that way. what kind of friend who looks his friend with such passion in his eyes? no, there has been any history where two close friends who are from the opposite gender end up as only friend. 

if you desire us, let us know. dont just stare at us and think we will do something. we may get your glimpses and hints of your adoration for us but we want you to reach to us and present us your fantasies of being together. dont leave us hanging with all these mixed up feelings.

woman wants commitment. we want a strong bond we want you to be serious with us.

we demand alot of things. blame our daddy and mommy for that. sorry xoxo.

C0MMUN1SM (i)

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I HATTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE COMMUNISM. I HATE IT I HATE ITTT.

a strong starking start indeed. today, we are going to talk about communism. we will take a brief look at communism and why i hate it despite people on tw1tt3r so pro of it.

 

so, the basic idea of communism is that, its universal, and there is no individualism. like if you have a property, thats not yours. that property is owned by everyone. there is no such thing as "individualism" everything you own, the government owns it. youre not allowed to have your own wealth, your family could just die from starving cause you cant buy food then boom, chaos.

 

communism also erased social status class (ironic because it actually still exists in the communist society, the leader being super duper rich and the childs of nation being super poor) communism doesnt recognize "the rich" "upper middle" "working class" and the others. 

 

this is so dumb. its getting late, ill post the pt.2 soon.

S0 TIR3D.

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i didnt think that going to a three day 2 hour long school made me this tired. ive been waking up very late this whole week since going back to school. i really dont know why this is affecting me this badly. because of going to school, my routine has been destroyed. i used to workout and do alot of studying and blogging. now i cant even go a day without feeling tired as hell. 

 

idk what but im also unmotivated these days. is something wrong with me perhaps? i feel like lying down in the middle of summer under a yggdrasil kind of tree and sleep there listening to my mp3 player while the summer breeze blows my hair in a thousands of different directions. the wind makes my skirt flows uncontrollably, the serene music fills my eardrums, its playing a terribly arranged indie rock song. i could smell the freshly chopped off grass below me. maybe im in a hill where i couldnt see anyone. sleeping there on my own till the end of time. endless summer, like the last episode on the bully game. 

the scene would also be perfect with a clear blue sky with a big white clouds here and there for some variation. not only that, there will be thousands of daisies and daffodils in the hill, some of their petals are flying around, blown away by the force of the winds. maybe im playing on my nintendo switch, ofc playing DOOM because what is relaxing time without venting all your anger and hatred towards the 2-dimensional dumb satan  A.I programmed by human. 

 

oh maybe a picnic with doomslayer and daisy? oh god that sounds good, if only daisy was still alive. omgomgomg me wants. we'd be like the song "diet mountain dew" except yes, we will be inlove forever. ewig verliebt...

american dream, having a family, prosperous, successful in life, regardless of where and what class i was born into.

0P3NME.

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im going to sleep soon but i have to make a quick announcement. 

im going to start a new project on this blog soon. im going to make a daily prayers label. idk why but i feel like most of us needs prayers. maybe i will make a weekly youth related religious posts. well yeah thats one. 

and i took down my research project on alberta to rewrite it and edit it.  

should i put politics article back? im not entirely sure to be honest. its a bit dangerous for me to take it up again.

not only that, on angelic thin im going to start posting weekly. i will share the link soon when i officially launch the weblog. again, trigger warning. im currently in the process of layouting the weblog.

and i remade my carrd.co portofolio. you can check it here on

https://doomgirlwho.carrd.co or you can check it out on the very bottom of this page on "PLACES TO VISIT SECTION" and tap that bludhaven section. 

 

ok. so basically, 

1. new labels and project.

2.  taking politics and research articles down.

3. angelic thin! launching. 

4. new carrd.co portofolio! 

ok i will sleep now. ciao! bis bald!

0CT0B3R: PR0L0GU3.

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and now its suddenly october. 

all i remember was i  sleeping peacefully in the middle of summer in 2015. now, i woke up in the opening of october in a totally different decade. it is now the last moments of 2021. 6 years ago i was still 9. its crazy how fast the time flies. golden as it is. 

this october i have nothing to do. people i know are celebrating halloween. i dont celebrate halloween  even if i do its such a waste. although, scaring little kids sounds fun. honestly, time feels like hyperpop its fast, dynamic, edgy. thats why you should enjoy your time in this world. i mean, you enjoy listening to hyperpop so why dont you enjoy your time living here?

and thats on s001c1d3 prevention. 

anyways, 2day i went on a voip with people. and, i actually talked for like an hour or more which is surprising. knowing i never talk to foreigners especially those i dont really know that much. they are all a teenager though they were nice. we all have the same poitical ideology and view. we also support the same thing. feels good to speak out your opinion without being cancelled.

well anyways, heres a daily prayer.

 

"glory to be you, oh Lord and all praise! i testify that there is no deity but you. i seek for your forgiveness and to you i do repent

so be it"

more posts coming soon.