i should probably make this into a story.

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youre my favourite form of entertainment. i truthfully never took you seriously. like i said, youre a form of entertainment. i will always take you for granted because i know you would be around anytime i need you. i cant blame you for that, if i was inlove with me i'd do the same thing until im sobered up. you dont need to realize that i dont love you, that is unecessary for us. and then when im bored with the shows youre putting up today, ill change channel and forget about you a second. but dont worry, i will always come back. rest assured, you are my favorite anyways so dont worry i always put you on my emergency contact, fast line while the other is gonna only be on my bookmark. 

everytime i come around your place its so 'tidy' and i like that about you, although i like making it 'untidy once i left' more. sorry i always leave you to tidy it yourself the next morning but after a few shots of drinks youll forgive me, and after a few txt youll pay for my coffee, which well i appreciate. also i forgot to say sorry for hanging you up for a few weeks but tomorrow i hope youre free, lets meet up again. lets listen to some songs and throw a party at your house only for the two of us. and yeah i swear i hate my ex i will make sure you listen to how crappy stories about him, and then reasons why i should kiss him in the middle of the rain and call him in the middle of the night just for us to fight the next sentence and then i run back to his house and make out with him completely forgetting about you in the process.

im sad, im so pathetic you wouldnt get it. im completely broken i need you. youre the only one whos been here since the beginning i need you, youre so nice to me im so sorry for always leaving you alone, yes i was jealous of your obvious friendship relations with them girls i just need you to be here. i dont care im not ashamed i need you so bad my heart is tearing apart so please come fast. oh youre here sorry for the sudden red code i just need your company now. comfort me and make me happy wont you? 

GOD YES I WAS LYING TO MYSELF ABOUT IT

I LOVE YOU

GODDAMNIT. 

i hate you. 

i wish you could just understand me. 

gosh im such a mess.