not all those who wanders are lost except for me

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 hi. its been 2 years since we have met dearz...

alot has changed no more covid, no more edgy songs, or cutting myself ever again. but life is still unforgiving and always will be. ive been accepting the fact that im lost and i have not much time and friends. 

 

im lost in the sea of options 

 

to leave or to stay

to inflict or receive pain

to love or hate

 

and i dont know yet what i want more than to love him. i dont wish to know aswell. i wish to stay here alone. i want him to stay with me forever until we grow old. like a can of tuna, to rot together and be stinky. we will stay sticky and splurt everywhere.  i wanna get lost in his hair, be his dandruff and annoy him all the time. 

love hurts but its okay,

i have him in my arm in the end.

 

im pretty now... 

 and everyone likes me

 

the truth is i dont know if i hate it. i love it forsure but somedays i feel invisible but a name. people keep talking about me whether they know me or not. i am nothing but a topic in a group conversation. must i hate it? all attention be it bad or good is a good attention for someone like me. being honest. i guess thats because im lonely and its been so long since ive been someones topic. 

 

will i ever be okay? and feel pretty as a whole? and accept my flaws? maybe not. but i feel like they would. and i guess thats nice, to have an unconditional love.

one for the money

two for the show

 - lana del rey